5 Ways To Avoid Awkward Questions After Divorce And Separation UPDATED
The reasons for couples getting married and divorced in Massachusetts can vary greatly due unique and different circumstances. Oftentimes the impact of a divorce can leave irreparable scars and emotional wounds that require time to heal, for both parties. During this process, there are several reasons why you may want (or have) to continue to interact with your former spouse during and after your divorce. If you have children, communication is likely unavoidable and occasionally awkward. You will probably have to interact with a former spouse pursuant to co-parenting responsibilities or events and celebrations for your children that you must both attend. Whatever the reason, it helps to find ways to remain civil with each other, despite how you may be feeling towards him or her. Oftentimes, when couples go through a divorce, the negative feelings they may have towards one another become clearer, stronger, and more obvious than ever before. If you are struggling to play nice with an ex-spouse, here are some tips:
5 Ways To Avoid Awkward Questions After Divorce And Separation
Losing contact with a parent after a divorce or separation can be traumatic for a child. Whether the relationship was previously secure or not, suddenly no longer seeing or hearing from a parent can have long-lasting consequences.
Like with any other parenting effort after a divorce or separation, this process will require a team effort. To prepare for success, here are 4 key things that both custodial and returning parents should consider.
Choose your timing. If you and your spouse are considering a separation or divorce, keep it to yourselves until you know for sure. While it may seem more honest to err on the side of full disclosure, the uncertainty of hearing "Dad and Mom are thinking about getting divorced" will unnecessarily confuse your child. Susanna Cox of Abingdon, Virginia, mother of then-7-year-old Mikaela, kept mum until she knew the date when her ex would be leaving. "We didn't talk to Mikaela until the week before he moved out, and I think that was the best choice," she says. "Since she only knew for a short time, she didn't have to worry about it and mull it over."Though there's never a "good" time, there are bad times: school days, right before you head off to work, just as your child is going to dance class or soccer practice, or just before bed. "When he hears the news and is suddenly feeling very unsafe and very alone, he'll need you to be there for him," says Wolf. Choose a moment when you'll be together afterward to offer plenty of hugs and reassurances.
Pour on the love. Divorce is difficult for children to understand and accept. While your child adjusts, he'll need a lot of your affection and attention. Resist the urge to talk constantly on the phone or let TV become the sitter. Give him more snuggle time or an extra story at night. Just as you benefit from your support network of relatives and friends now more than ever, your child needs extra hugs and kisses from you.Keep talking. Even after the news has sunk in, be prepared to go over the same explanations and answer questions again and again, for weeks or even months. Make sure your child knows that you're open to questions about the divorce any time, even if what you really want is to stop talking about it. "If you want to know what your children are thinking and feeling, you have to spend time with them, to allow them to talk," says Klungness. One way to keep the lines of communication open is to read kids' books like Dinosaurs Divorce or Ricci's Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids.
Law Office of Renkin & Associates is a North County, San Diego family law firm that represents parents before, during, and after the divorce process. If you are contemplating a divorce or a post-divorce family vacation, or if you simply have questions about your family situation, you can call 619-299-7100 or contact us online to request a confidential initial case evaluation.
COBRA requires proper notice of the divorce or legal separation followed by an election period. The employee-spouse, non-employee spouse, or qualifying dependent must notify the group health benefit plan administrator. Thereafter, the qualified beneficiary must be given an election period of at least 60 days to choose continued health care coverage under the group plan or not.The health benefit provisions in COBRA amended the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA), the Internal Revenue Code, and the Public Health Service Act.
Furthermore, you should be aware of any morality clauses that could be included in your child custody order that might prevent overnight guests when your kids are with you. This in and of itself could prevent your new girlfriend from getting to know your children. If you have any questions about whether or not your girlfriend is allowed around your kids, you should clarify with your divorce attorney so you avoid any potential legal issues.
My ex and I were informally separated for approximately three years before we filed for divorce. During the separation I had primary custody of our two children, ages 7 and 9, and they rarely saw their father (approximately 3-4 times per year). When they did see him, he would never take him to his home, but rather he would travel to them. Under the parenting plan executed as part of the divorce, he began taking the kids more often (6-8 times a year), and they were to stay at his home during the visits. After everything was finalized and our case was closed, but before the kids made their first trip out to see him, I discovered that my ex had been secretly co-habitating with another woman the entire time of our separation. Thus, the first time my kids travelled to his home, they met the new partner who he was already living with. I was reluctant to reopen custody issues at the time, even though I was livid, until I determined whether the kids would actually have a hard time with the situation. Now the kids are beginning to show signs of stress from all of it, and are asking a lot of questions about the nature of the relationship. Any advice is appreciated.
I tell my clients that there are no easy answers to these difficult questions about how to know when divorce is the right solution. However, for most people, there is a moment of clarity when they know that divorce is the direction they feel they must go (or must not). That moment of clarity is often a physical feeling of relief as well as a knot in your stomach as you understand the decision you have just made. At that point, you can start to develop a plan to either renew your commitment to your marriage or to move toward separation and divorce.
While married couples plan on remaining together for the rest of their lives, divorces do happen in a large number of cases. Going through a divorce is a complex event, and that is compounded when a joint Will is involved. If each spouse has their own Will, California law allows them to make new Wills after the divorce has been filed and creating the new Will does not violate the Automatic Temporary Restraining Order (ATRO) against changing beneficiaries, selling assets, etc. during a California divorce. However, if the couple has a joint Will, the couple must wait to change their Wills until after divorce is complete and the Marital Settlement Agreement or judgment is created regarding division of assets before each spouse may create their own new Will. This can be really awkward because the spouse was likely named as the Executor and beneficiary of the joint Will! So, if you die during the divorce proceeding, your almost-ex still handles your affairs and inherits from you! Ouch! On the other hand, if the couple starts out with separate Wills, they can write a new one during the divorce and nominate a different Executor and beneficiaries. 041b061a72